Spawned from the depths of my cluttered mind, this space narrates the little bits of niggling grouches in my memories. Laughs, sobs, emptiness, let it echo through from within…
snippet
“Without music life would be a mistake."
~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
What defines me? My name XueQian is nothing out of the ordinary. I was born on the 19th of September, which isn’t really some groundbreaking eventful day. My life isn’t one with great achievements. My life could be said to be a touch too mundane. But regrets are not a part of me. I study in RI(JC), and I am a member of SNYO. My life is far too ordinary for my liking, but I can’t really help it.
Nearly done...
Thursday, November 19, 2009 9:16 PM
A levels are nearly over, and I am already starting to miss JC life. As all my "last" papers whooshed by (maths, history, GP...), I don't even know what to feel already. Revision for A levels is feeling so pointless and surreal, I am more like toiling and dragging my feet pass, rather than hyping up for the next paper with fervent revision. The papers feels totally sub-standard (not sure if it is the difficulty of the paper or just me...) Maths was fine, Chem pretty good, Hist is more about hoping for some IHist salvation, Econs is just crap (lost motivation and my train of thought halfway through the paper), I don't even know what kind of planning is going thru my mind and ideas were just coming out in a mush (like lack of paragraphs...) I give up, it will be bad. Econs case study is like 30% prep will help only, and chem MCQ (honestly can't care anymore...)
Gosh I am ranting, let it be done...
NS arghz....
Monday, October 19, 2009 6:03 PM
I finally got the dreaded enlistment letter. 11 december, that is when I will say farewell and embrace my new abode, Pulau Tekong. So yeah, sayonara to freedom then, garhzzz...
Pretty uneventful day besides going for viola lesson and doing June and November 2007 Chem papers, exams are boring....
Getting hooked onto J-pop again. But I guess my favorite band now is still Stereopony, a 3-member all girls band from Okinawa. Love their new single, Tsukiakari no Michishirube, which is also the new OP for Darker Than Black II. Their previous singles include Namida no Mukou (Gundam 00 OP4) and Hitohira no Hanabira (Bleach ED15). Here are some links to their PVs...
And so as the ceremony ends, the streamers have fallen, the curtain falling one last time as we make our final bow on our own stage, leaving our footprints, we approach our destinies in the A levels, and whatever our future may await... Though I had not the chance to go up on stage in a blazer blazed in all glory, thanks to the oh-so-commendable efficiency of the school, I count myself blessed for having got the chance to get my Commendation Award and being able to stand where others will yearn for, although a tinge of sadness still overcomes me.
To my teachers, thanks so much for everything. Over these two years, I really came to appreciate how teachers are just so important to our lives, and where would we be without them? I will never forget Ms Chia's cheerfulness yet caring style of teaching, Ms Ng Mei Sze's ng-mei-szing and wittiness, with sarcasms and intelligence so perfectly blended that I guess nothing will ever beat it, Mrs Tan's constant encouragements and how she tolerated with the nonsense our class offered, Ms Ng Siew Cheng's systematic and detailed approach to teaching, though she can be over fussy and critical at times, Mr Kwok's quirkiness and the constant exasperation we feel sometimes over our confusion, and of course, Mr Faizad, who truly brought sarcasm to a whole new level... Thanks for all your patience and care, I will never forget...
And to my classmates, what would JC be without them. I really liked my class, hanging out with them was never a boring moment. While I may have had to put up with the nonsense nicknames they throw at me, I guess without it, 7A just won't be 7A. We are really "cool" people, I mean how many people will take 2 humanities and 2 science subjects?? There are the muggers, like the trio and the ever famous Puahzz.. that just made me admire in awe, the really vocal ones like Sam and the Abigails, the guys who never fails to come up with something quirky and wacky, Timothy with his endless barrage of jokes, the other girls who I don't really talk to much but so integral to what 7A is, and friends like Samantha, Vionna, Sabrina, Zhefei and Yik Sin whom I could confide in and talk to. 7A rocks, and nothing beats us...
But now I face 23 days of mundanity, like the incessant chemistry mugging (which I finally completed my crazy 102 structured qns and 176 MCQs today) and the rest... oh spare me the agony. But this is our calling, a puzzle which unlocks the gates of the unknown beyond, a mountain we must scale, a sea we must sail, in order to get to the greener pastures (can see the jokes coming in already...) on the other side. After all, as we Rafflesians believe in and stand firm by, Auspicium Melioris Aevi, the hope of a better age...
(credits to Eugene and Huiyan for the photos)
life these days...
Monday, October 12, 2009 8:39 PM
Truly, I think studying is a bore... Seriously, this is frustrating... Viola lesson today, nothing much else to say. Weekend is boring.
Okay I ran out of ideas... blah...
this has to be a joke...
Tuesday, October 6, 2009 9:36 PM
Finally got back my last paper today, after a long day's wait. I was looking for a 31, since I have to be realistic with my CT2 compo being 23, and my compre being hardly decent at only 29. What I got back, was a surprise of crazy proportions... Firstly, I topped the class with a 39, which cannot possibly be possible cause I always had the greatest respect for the very commendable linguistic prowess of some of my classmates and my frequent low grades and poor language (basic grammar mistakes a whole bunch...) is hardly top marks material, much less say an A. Secondly, the highest I ever got was a 33, madness. And a three word remark for an entire compo is something I thought I will never encounter. 3 words, but so unbelievable for my low standards "comprehensive, knowledgable, eloquent". This has got to be a one-off luck, I refuse to believe it. A levels will be different, and I will work harder...
So on the whole, 3 Bs and 2 Cs. Not stunning, not remarkable, but decent I guess. Most disappointed with my Chemistry, and more regrets for my General Paper, but on the whole, the lack of improvement is slightly worrying (3 Bs for maths and history this year, 3 Cs for Econs, and Chemistry and GP fluctuating between A to C). But I will keep fighting on, and ace my Chemistry, get an A for maths (still can't believe I never got 1 in JC), do better for GP and Econs, and History, well whatever fate forbids... Ganbatte...
reflecting...
Monday, October 5, 2009 10:38 PM
So I finally got back all my prelim results (barring my GP paper 1), besides the totally disappointing chemistry result, my other subjects retained virtually almost the same grade, and nearly the same marks. B for maths, B for history, C for economics. It may not sound bad, but seeing how almost half the class (maybe even more...) will get at least one A subject, I really reflect on my lack of effort (totally lamentable...) the past 2 months, when everyone have been working their socks off. I bring about my own downfall, the papers I know I can do, the lack of practice just limited my speed, and thus my time.
Nothing can be a better reflection than through my marks, my math paper 1 was done too slowly, result 56%, then I worked by socks off knowing I already screwed up paper 1, practising almost 4 papers in 1 day, and salvaged a 74%, to even it at 65%. Effort... case in point.
Going on to Economics, the case study demonstrated that I had no lack of skill, getting a commendable 22/30 for my micro case study, but due to my poor time management from a lack of practice, my macro case study died, only 9/30. So much for the difference, a point even pointed out to me personally by my teacher.
Then on to Chemistry, hearing Mrs Tan's already old comment, "Your chemistry foundation is strong, but what happened to you? No more Cs from you," is like just another pang of guilt for me. So much for all the practice, when I cannot even get a basic thing called time management right...
Then on to SEA History, I spent an hour and 15 mins on my source based and reeled off a 21/25, so what? My other essays are nothing short of disappointing, time management once again, so much for the promise shown. 2 C-grade essays just sums up my point.
Another problem will be concise writing. What the prelims make me realise is subconsciously, I already have this skill. But when I try too hard, it will just come out as mindless incoherent dribble, further killing off more trees spewed with large handwriting. 2 International History essays each written in 20 mins, with only barely 3 to 4 pages long with average of 6 words per line got me a 16 and 17 out of 25, while a 45 min essay spewed over 6 pages with relatively neater and smaller handwriting churned out only a 14.
Another case in point, for Economics essay, I rushed through a 12 mark part question in 5 mins (seeing how I only had 15-20 min left for the last essay), written only on 1 and 3/4 page with similarly large handwriting and short paragraphs, got me an 8/12, another one written in 15 mins gave me an 11 out of 15.
Overall, I realise that there really is much to learn, much to reconsider, much to reflect, but no time for regrets. Just have to get myself in line, practise in order to harness any unfulfilled potential into results, to prevent myself from becoming a perennial "exam flop" and further disappoint my parents, teachers, and myself.
Best of Spring/Summer 2009 Anime Season
Sunday, October 4, 2009 11:31 PM
So after assessing the ten anime I have watched this season, it is time to sieve out the best of the best moments from this six months. No anime will be complete without a good soundtrack, mouth-watering action scenes, brilliant animation, and of course the awesome endings, so without further ado, these are the best of the best...
Best Action:
1: Canaan
2: Phantom: Requiem for the Phantom
3: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood
Best Animation:
1: Basquash
2: Canaan
3: Phantom: Requiem for the Phantom
Best Comedy: K-On
Best Romance:
1: Kou Kitamura and Tsukishima Aoba (Cross Game)
2: Alicia Melchiott and Welkin Gunther (Valkyria Chronicles)
3: Ein and Zwei (aka Azuma Reiji) (Phantom: Requiem for the Phantom)
Best Opening Song:
1: Romantic Strike (Taishou Yakyuu Musume) by Kanae Itou, Mai Nakahara, Kana Ueda and Mamiko Noto 2: nO limiT (Basquash) by Megumi Nakajima, Haruka Tomatsu and Saori Hayami 3: Asu e no Kizuna (Valkyria Chronicles) by HIMEKA
Best Ending Song: 1: Hitotsu no Negai (Valkyria Chronicles) by Inoue Hikari
2: Let It Out (Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood) by Miho Fukuhara
3: Futari no Yakusoku (Basquash) by Megumi Nakajima, Haruka Tomatsu and Saori Hayami
Best Insert Song:
1: Running On (Basquash) by Megumi Nakajima, Haruka Tomatsu and Saori Hayami 2: Hoshiwatari (Basquash) by Megumi Nakajima 3: Watashi no Koi wa Hotch-kiss (K-On) by Aki Toyosaki and Yoko Hikasa
Best Overall Soundtrack:
1: Phantom: Requiem for the Phantom
2: Basquash
3: Valkyria Chronicles
Best Anime Ending:
1: Tokyo Magnitude 8.0
2: Canaan
3: Valkyria Chronicles
Worst Anime Ending:
1: Phantom: Requiem for the Phantom
2: Basquash
3: Taishou Yakyuu Musume
Best Character Development:
1: Mirai (Tokyo Magnitude 8.0)
2: Kou Kitamura and Tsukishima Aoba (Cross Game)
3: Zwei - Azuma Reiji (Phantom: Requiem for the Phantom)
So that's about it for now. Stay tuned for more...
“Without music life would be a mistake." 
To my teachers, thanks so much for everything. Over these two years, I really came to appreciate how teachers are just so important to our lives, and where would we be without them? I will never forget Ms Chia's cheerfulness yet caring style of teaching, Ms Ng Mei Sze's ng-mei-szing and wittiness, with sarcasms and intelligence so perfectly blended that I guess nothing will ever beat it, Mrs Tan's constant encouragements and how she tolerated with the nonsense our class offered, Ms Ng Siew Cheng's systematic and detailed approach to teaching, though she can be over fussy and critical at times, Mr Kwok's quirkiness and the constant exasperation we feel sometimes over our confusion, and of course, Mr Faizad, who truly brought sarcasm to a whole new level... Thanks for all your patience and care, I will never forget...
And to my classmates, what would JC be without them. I really liked my class, hanging out with them was never a boring moment. While I may have had to put up with the nonsense nicknames they throw at me, I guess without it, 7A just won't be 7A. We are really "cool" people, I mean how many people will take 2 humanities and 2 science subjects?? There are the muggers, like the trio and the ever famous Puahzz.. that just made me admire in awe, the really vocal ones like Sam and the Abigails, the guys who never fails to come up with something quirky and wacky, Timothy with his endless barrage of jokes, the other girls who I don't really talk to much but so integral to what 7A is, and friends like Samantha, Vionna, Sabrina, Zhefei and Yik Sin whom I could confide in and talk to. 7A rocks, and nothing beats us...
But now I face 23 days of mundanity, like the incessant chemistry mugging (which I finally completed my crazy 102 structured qns and 176 MCQs today) and the rest... oh spare me the agony. But this is our calling, a puzzle which unlocks the gates of the unknown beyond, a mountain we must scale, a sea we must sail, in order to get to the greener pastures (can see the jokes coming in already...) on the other side. After all, as we Rafflesians believe in and stand firm by, Auspicium Melioris Aevi, the hope of a better age...